3 Thought-Provoking Questions in Tolstoy’s "Anna Karenina"- Part 3

I read somewhere that someone asked Tolstoy what this novel was about. He replied something like, “if I were to explain everything it was about, I would have to write the novel over again.” After reading it, I completely understand his reply. He covers so many topics!! So here are three more thought-provoking topics that are discussed in Anna Karenina- (probably covering pages 400-880 in the novel).

1. What is the secret to a good marriage?

In the novel, there are 4 main couples: Oblonsky & Dolly; Anna (sister of Oblonsky) & her first husband Alexey; Anna (yup, same Anna) and her lover Vronsky; Levin and Kitty (sister of Dolly).

Oblonsky & Dolly:

The novel opens with Oblonsky’s wife finding out that her husband cheated on her. She decides to forgive him, and she wants to live on as if nothing ever happened. The novel doesn’t focus too much on their relationship after this betrayal, but towards the end of the book it describes a relationship where two people are merely tolerating the other’s existence for the sake of the children. It is by no means a happy or healthy marriage, especially for his wife. Oblonsky is rarely home, and Dolly has almost zero respect and trust for her husband. They remain married, but they never work through any of their issues, and the marriage is anything but “good” or “happy” for either of them.

Anna & Alexey:

Anna despises Alexey, her husband, in the novel. I think it’s due to his lack of passion and his desire to “look good” in society. He holds a very important and public position, so he is always trying to act in a way that gives him a good reputation, not in accordance with what he really wants. Plus, he is much older than Anna, and they were not in love when they got married. Anna never discusses her issues with her husband either, and when she finds herself being pursued by Count Oblonsky, she cannot resist him. She falls in love with him, cheats on her husband, and leaves him (and her child) for Oblonsky.

Anna & Oblonsky- (they don’t marry, but they do end up living together)

This is perhaps the most tragic relationship in the book (at least to me). Anna finds real, deep happiness with Oblonsky. However, she has to give up a lot in order to be with him. Chief among them, she has to give up her son, whom she loves desperately. She also has to give up her place in society, as this type of behavior is not welcome. Oblonsky also gives up his career to be with her (though he is still allowed in polite society).

These sacrifices start to put a huge strain on their relationship. Anna starts to become paranoid and jealous. She is convinced that he is falling out of love with her- and she constantly looks for confirmation of this idea. They begin to fight constantly. The object of these fights, though, is “to win.” They are not working together to solve a problem. They are not listening to each other. They are only out to prove their dominance over the other person. They are only interested in “smoothing the issue” over, until the next fight brings up the exact same problem.

Tragically, Anna ends up committing suicide after a huge fight. In her mind, it is the best way out of her situation. She doesn’t have to deal with any more of her problems, and she will both cause Oblonsky a lot of pain and ensure that he thinks of her always.

Definitely not the secret to a good marriage!

Levin & Kitty:

To be fair, they are the youngest wedded couple in the whole novel, but they are held up as an example of a good marriage. First off, both Kitty and Levin enter into the marriage with the idea that it is a sacred undertaking, and one of the chief aims in their life. Second, even though problems arise for the couple as well, they talk everything out. No matter how many tears are shed, or how long it takes to solve an issue, they work on an issue until it is squashed between them. They aren’t immune from problems that other couples face (jealousy, in-laws, beauty of another woman, loss of independence, etc. follow them too,), but they have the best communication skills of any of the couples. They are completely honest with each other, no matter what. They are not concerned with “being right”, they are concerned with finding a solution to their troubles.

Levin and Kitty are the only couple that remains happy, in-love, and with the tools to deal with any of the problems that life throws their way.

2. What is the result of pursing a life of pleasure?

I think Oblonsky is the best character to study in order to answer this question. Oblonsky does not live by any set of rigid moral code, he only seeks to enjoy himself. With this as his guiding principle, he constantly parties, enjoys the finest of food and drink, gambles as he feels like, and flirts with whomever he wants. He has loads of friends, and he is perhaps one of the best people to host a party. It seems like quite a nice life, actually- but not so fast. This all leads to him cheating on his wife, which ends up making his home life miserable for his entire family. His neglect of his finances puts him in terrible debt- and his family is forced to live with others as they can longer afford to live in their own estate. Although he enjoys himself, his family suffers for his way of life. I think Tolstoy was showing how pursuing a life where the chief aim is that of pleasure (and to hell with any sense of duty or responsibility) will eventually lead you down a path of destruction- both for yourself and the ones you love.

3. When does jealousy become toxic to a relationship?

Jealousy is a theme that comes up again and again in Anna Karenina. Of course, jealousy is a natural emotion, one that usually arises in romantic relationships or other close relationships. Everyone in the world knows this feeling, and indeed almost every character in the book has to deal with the emotion at some point. What’s most important is how a person handles their jealousy. And I think Anna handles her jealousy in the worst way.

Her jealousy becomes absolute poison to her relationship with Vronsky. Anna grows increasingly insecure in her relationship with Vronsky as time goes on. Even though he loves her, Anna is convinced that he is starting to fall out of love with her. This insecurity leads to her becoming jealous of just about anyone and everyone who has contact with her lover. Every time Vronsky comes home at night out, she accuses him of cheating, basically. Of course, this turns into a huge fight between the couple. This repeated night after night eventually pushes Vronsky away- as you can imagine. He becomes more distant- she becomes more insecure and convinced that he is cheating on her- she accuses him more harshly- he pulls away even more. He becomes totally exasperated by her behavior. (And rightly so in my opinion.)

Tolstoy expertly shows the perils of jealousy that is not dealt with properly. This is the acting out of jealousy we should avoid.